And how can it be that we think it's healthy to eat like birds in winter, I asked these and other questions after cancelling countless requests and I'm sure it's because of his management, my inner Keith, who came along with Jim, and I saw Timothy and Jerry waiting down in the Cadillac on the inner Reeperbahn and also a whole lot of excitingly wonderful Instagram girls. 

So despite the question

Hope

to pass.

I serve us CBD brownies in proper style and a slightly spiced-up Bobo cocoa, which could almost be a candidate for the Nobel Peace Prize because it's so Fairtrade, Keith leans back happily as always on the old cowhide couch, thirty years ago some Indian cows died for it, he's also a wimp, because he quickly takes his hands off the hot cup still on the left. 

How could it come to this, to no longer be allowed to casually lay a hand on a woman's thigh?

Or a man of course, I think it could also be because it wasn't always just our hands, Michael. I mean, let me see...

He takes my hands in his,

It's a very tender gesture.

Yours are more artist's hands, you old scribbler, yes, I've been plucking my strings for so long, I have steel fingers,

I am a fucking god. 

But you understand what I mean, the two or three thousand interesting men in this world are trying, but they can't mate them all. That's the basic problem.

But the question, Keith, is more political and social, even if you can break it down that far, of course, in Austria this problem is even more acute, I mean, of the 2 to 3 thousand there are at best forty here. 

My question was just a polemical follow-up question, I mean, the planet was really on the right track around the time of 1968. And originally the stoners discovered the grain-eating habit, but what wasn't understood was that without Mary Jane the stuff tastes rather poor. And actually belongs in the oven.

YOU MUST HAVE TRIED IT, BAKED MUESLI. AND DON'T FORGET THE BREAD MAKERS. 
DO YOU REALLY REALISE THAT WE ARE JUST COMPLETELY ASSAULTING YOU HERE AND ACTUALLY PUBLISHING IT IN A BLOG THAT ADMITS TO ALL THAT AND MORE?

Mmmh, Sure, Pope, I think to myself and I have to say his fingers are really hard as steel. Hard as steel. Oh yes.

BUT BIRDS ARE A GOOD EXAMPLE, ARE THEY ACTUALLY ALLOWED TO EAT WORMS AND LARVAE AND SUCH, OR IS THAT POLITICALLY INCORRECT, WHAT DO YOU THINK? WE WANT TO TAKE STEPS FORWARD, HOW CAN WE STOP THE UNSPEAKABLE SUFFERING OF ANIMALS IN INDUSTRY AND FOOD PRODUCTION WITHOUT FALLING INTO EMBARRASSING RELIGIOUSNESS, I MEAN IF EVERYTHING IS ONE THEN EVERYTHING DOESN'T MATTER, I CAN HAVE BREAKFAST WITH MY NEIGHBOURS AND THAT BECOMES A METAPHYSICAL ACT. 

ARE THE BROWNIES ALREADY WORKING, DOESN'T THAT NORMALLY TAKE LONGER? 

NO, I AM LIKE THIS. IN AUSTRIA THEY CALL IT NATURBRETT. 

SO WHAT WENT WRONG, SHOULD THEY HAVE LEFT NIXON IN OFFICE? 

Now I make him laugh,

... BASICALLY YES, BECAUSE THIS BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN PROGRESSIVE AND REACTIONARY HAS COST US MANY MANY YEARS, IN THE HERE AND NOW DENVER HAS JUST ALLOWED MUSHROOMS, BUT THE DIVERSIONS AND THIS DIFFERENTIATION OF INDIVIDUAL LIFESTYLES IS BY NO MEANS COMPLETE. YES, COLORADO IS ON THE SIDE OF THE MEDAL, BUT THEY HAVE BLATANT TIGHTENING OF ABORTION LAWS RIGHT NOW.

STEEL FINGERS INSTEAD OF LITTLE FINGERS, ISN'T IT ACTUALLY THE CASE THAT SOMEONE WHO BELIEVES IN CONSCIOUSNESS, IN LIFE, IN NOT EATING MEAT, IN EXISTENTIAL THINGS, OR VICE VERSA, AS AN ECO OR VEGAN, COULDN'T POSSIBLY HAVE AN ABORTION? DON'T IDEOLOGIES GET TANGLED UP IN A THOUSAND CONTRADICTIONS, EVEN AMONG THE SO-CALLED GOOD ONES? 

THAT'S WHY WE MAKE ART AND LET SCIENCE EXPLORE REALITY MORE CLOSELY. POLARISATION DOES NOT DIVIDE US, BUT RATHER PRESENTS DIVERSITY IN A BETTER LIGHT THAN THE CONSERVATIVE ON-KNEE COMPROMISE. THE QUARRELLING SHOULD BE LEFT ALONE, BUT MY GOODNESS, WE'VE ONLY RECENTLY COME DOWN FROM THE TREES.

GIVE MANKIND ANOTHER 20,000 YEARS. IT WILL BE FINE. 

THAT'S RIGHT, I'M WORKING INTENSIVELY ON TOMORROW IN AN ATTEMPT TO CREATE NEW, CREDIBLE, MORE AUTHENTIC SCIENCE FICTION. THAT BRINGS ME FEWER GROUPIES THAN YOU, BUT IT GIVES HOPE, WRITERS HAVE THE ADVANTAGE OF BEING ABLE TO DO IT MORE UNOBTRUSIVELY, AND HONESTLY, I SEE MY READINGS AS CONCERTS. I THINK YOU ARE MORE OF A LIVE MAN.

I THINK OUR STUDIO WITH YOU OR WRITING IN THE QUIET LITTLE ROOM ARE JUST EXERCISES FOR THE ACT, THE STEEL FINGER TURN.

HEY DUDE, DIDN'T YOU ACTUALLY WANT TO ASK ME ABOUT BEAN SPROUTS AND STUFF? 

SORRY, YES, ALTHOUGH THERE IS GOOD FLUTE MUSIC, NO QUESTION. BUT LOOK AT I MEAN INDIAN GURUS, THEY'VE BEEN TALKING THEIR HEADS OFF SINCE THE HIPPIES, THE CASTE COUNTRY WASN'T/ISN'T WORTHY OF BEING AN EXAMPLE AT ANY POINT, HOW COULD IT SET AN EXAMPLE, YOGA, I MEAN, SHOULD WE ALL RETREAT INTO THE CAVES WE CAME FROM.

THE SMILING GYMNASTICS THAT IS CALLED YOGA TODAY IS A DIFFERENT TOPIC. 

YEAH, MAYBE THE MOST EMBARRASSING. BUT THEY ARE SOOOOOO FLEXIBLE, THE GIRLS AT LEAST, WHICH ALSO HELPS THEM WITH THE SELFIES. 

SO ARE SELFIES THE PINNACLE OF HUMAN DEVELOPMENT?

Jim has mostly been silent since he fell asleep in the bathtub, but now the old shaman looks round and affirms vigorously.

SELFIES ARE THE KEY, EVERYTHING BECOMES A SELFIE. WE ARE ONLY OUR SELFIES, OUR REPRESENTATION OF WHAT WE NEVER WERE BECAUSE THERE IS NO SOLID, STABLE BEING.

SOME BEINGS, CALLED FLIGHTY, HAVE UNDERSTOOD THAT YOU CAN AND MAY CHANGE OPINIONS LIKE CLOTHES, THE COSMIC GAME, WHICH BRINGS US BACK TO INDIA, BUT PEOPLE EVERYWHERE HAVE AND ARE CONSTANTLY COMING ROUND TO THIS FACT. 

ONLY THE SO-CALLED WEST IS A LITTLE PSYCHOLOGICALLY CRIPPLED. AND BY RAPING THE PLANET AND ALMOST ALL PEOPLES, IT HAS OF COURSE DAMAGED EVERYONE ELSE. ALIENS, IF THEY ARE NOT ALREADY THERE, WOULD FIRST HAVE TO SEND A THERAPIST.

WHAT DO WE DO WITH THE MOSQUITOES NOW? RUST THEM OUT ?

YES, I THINK YOU HAVE TO ACT PRAGMATICALLY AND LIVELY, BALANCE IRRECONCILABLE HIGH OPINIONS AGAINST DIVERSE, AUTONOMOUS ONES WITH DAILY RE-EVALUATION, SO LEARY'S POLITICS OF ECSTASY IS WORTH A SIDESTEP, YOU CAN ASK HIM, HE'S DOWNSTAIRS IN THE CAR.

IS THE CONTRACT, THE LAW, THE RULE, THE COMMANDMENT THEREFORE A SLOWLY BUT SURELY DYING IDEA?

WE ARE NOW THINKING IN TERMS OF MILLENNIA, BUT WHAT GOOD IS THAT WHEN YOU BEGIN TO UNDERSTAND YOURSELF AS AN INDIVIDUAL AT THE CUTTING EDGE OF SCIENCE, TECHNOLOGY AND ART?

ONCE YOU HAVE UNDERSTOOD THIS, WHO SHOULD RECOGNISE ANY KIND OF JUSTIFIED AUTHORITY? THAT WOULD BE ABSURD. WE LIKE TO CO-OPERATE A LOT WITH THE MOST DIVERSE OTHER LIVING BEINGS WHERE IT SEEMS SENSIBLE AND VALUABLE. WE MAY BE EGOISTICALLY HEDONISTIC, BUT WE ORIENTATE OURSELVES TOWARDS A PRACTICAL AND FORWARD-LOOKING COMMUNITY. BASTA.

YES, WE'RE ON THE RIGHT TRACK, DUDE. THE REACTIONARY BACKLASH, THE WAR ON DRUGS, THE MEDIA WITH THEIR SAME OLD BANAL, BEHAVE LIKE SHEEP CONCEPT, IT'S A CONSERVATIVE VICTORY, THE POPULIST RIGHT-WING PANIC, ALL THE BEADS OF SWEAT SPRAYING IN SLIGHTLY STINKING UP BREXIT.

BUT IT WILL EITHER NOT TAKE PLACE AT ALL OR WILL BE CANCELLED BY THE PEOPLE THEMSELVES IN 5 TO 10 YEARS. PERHAPS FASTER IN SCOTLAND.

AS A CONSERVATIVE, YOU MUST FEEL PERMANENTLY FUCKED. ACTUALLY NICE. IF THEY COULD ENJOY IT IN THEIR HOMOPHOBIA

 
The group has a cosy laugh. 

I MEAN AS SOON AS YOU LOCK UP THE ONE CHEEKY BLOGGER, A GAY COUPLE GETS MARRIED NEXT DOOR, AND IF YOU KICK OUT ALL THE PROGESSIVES, IF THEY HAVEN'T ALREADY LEFT VOLUNTARILY, WHAT'S LEFT, A SKINNY, DRIED UP MORMON PEOPLE WITH WHOM YOU'RE STUCK IN THE BACKWOODS.

THEY ARE SO FUCKED UP THAT YOU HAVE TO TIP YOUR UNDERSTANDING OVER THEIR SAD PANIC. TRUMP, WELL, THERE'S NO BETTER EXAMPLE. BUT THE DESPISED CRAWLED ON SLIME TRACKS BEFORE HIM. WHAT BETTER WAY TO DESCRIBE SINKING LOW, OLD MAN I TELL YOU NO ART CAN DO THAT.

YES, I KNOW THAT FROM AUSTRIA. WE HAD A CANDIDATE THERE, A 34-YEAR-OLD STUDENT WITH NO CONTENT, AND HE HAD THEM ALL ON THE BELT, PEINFUL, TRUTHFUL AND INCOMPETENT ANNOUNCEMENT POLICY WITHOUT SUBSTANCE, WILDLY FLIPPING AROUND, COMPLETELY SENSUAL, AND THE OLD WISELY OR SMARTLY HOLDING COUNTRY MEN MADE GIRLS, APPORTIONED, IT WAS VERY FUN TO LOOK AT IT FROM THIS VIEWPOINT. HOLLOW STICKS OTTMAR, HOLLOW STICKS WILFRIED.

A JOKESTER BABBLES, AND A REASONABLY THOUGHTFUL PARTY HAS BECOME AN ADVERTISING SLOGAN SECT. ALL OUT OF FEAR. AND YET WITH NO CHANCE OF STOPPING THE BLOSSOMING OF HUMANITY

HEHE, YES, THEY ARE FUNNY FIGURES, FROM BRAZIL TO HUNGARY, I THINK THAT HAS TO BE SHOWN PUBLICLY, THE SPIN, MAYBE A GREEN ONE, WILL COME OVER THEM IN A BIG WAY, THEY ARE DYING OUT ANYWAY, THEY KNOW THAT. THEY SEE THE DEMOGRAPHIC SURVEYS AND IMMORTALITY ISN'T GOING TO WORK OUT FOR THEM JUST YET. 

THE DAYS OF BREAD AND GAMES ARE ALMOST OVER, BECAUSE WE CAN NOW MAKE OUR OWN BREAD AND GAMES, ANYTIME, ANYWHERE, WITHOUT ANY SPECIFICATIONS. THE WORLD IS BECOMING A 5D PRINTER.

IN THIS SENSE, NOTHING HAS GONE WRONG TO GET BACK TO THE INITIAL QUESTION?

YES AND NO, I MEAN THE BEST GAG OF ALL IS THAT THE AMERICAN MILITARY INVENTED THE INTERNET. YOU DON'T OPEN PANDORA'S BOX WITH IMPUNITY, NOW THEY WANT TO STUFF EVERYTHING THAT ESCAPED BACK INTO THE BOX. NO WAY. 

We sat together for longer, sometimes I think we never left each other. The other parts of the interview, a ride in a Cadillac, politically incorrect goofing off on the Reeperbahn. All this soon and in the membership content. Winter is just around the corner, I absolutely have to spend it as summer, and I'm old and need the money.